As our first wedding anniversary approaches, I find myself feeling all the emotions. Gratitude. Joy. Reflection. Wonder. It's truly incredible just how much life can change in just one year. This past year has been filled with so many beautiful milestones. We said "I do," blended our family, made big financial decisions together, purchased a new vehicle, found a home we absolutely love, learned how to navigate life as husband and wife, as well as mom and stepdad, and continue discovering who we are, both individually and as a team.
We've gone on dates, attended community events, laughed until our stomachs hurt, sang our hearts out at concerts, and created countless little moments that have quietly become some of my favourite memories. I patiently sat beside him through He-Man mania at the movies. He smiles while I excitedly explain to him my vision for a fairy garden and a yard full of fairy-lite tees, while explaining why the garden absolutely needed "just one more flower." Those little moments may seem ordinary, but to me, they're reminders of something extraordinary, and that's choosing each other every single day.
Somewhere along the way, we didn't just become husband and wife. We became best friends. He has become my home. My safe place. My biggest supporter. My heart. This first anniversary has reminded me of something even bigger than our love story. It has reminded me of the journey that happened before our love story. There was a time in my life when I truly believed unconditional love might not be in the cards for me. Like so many people, I questioned my worth. I wondered if I was too much, not enough, or somehow destined to settle for less than I deserved. What I didn't realize then was that healing always begins with the relationship we have with ourselves. Self-esteem isn't about believing you're perfect. It's about believing you're worthy. Worthy of respect, kindness, healthy love, taking up space, and joy.
As I continued working on my mindset, challenging old beliefs, practicing self-compassion, and learning to truly value myself, something remarkable happened. I stopped chasing love. I started attracting relationships that reflected the love I had begun cultivating within myself. That's the beautiful thing about mindset work. When we begin believing we deserve peace instead of chaos, we start to choose differently. When we believe we deserve respect, we set healthier boundaries. When we believe we deserve happiness, we stop apologizing for wanting more. Our external world often begins to reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves in the most unexpected and beautiful ways.
Do I believe the Universe played a role in bringing Chris into my life? Absolutely! Do I believe my mum's love continues to guide me in ways I can't always explain? Yep, with all my heart. I also believe something equally important, and that's that I had to become the version of myself who was finally ready to receive the kind of love I had always hoped for.
Healing didn't make me perfect. It made me open. Open to trusting again, open to allowing myself to be vulnerable. Open to partnership and trusting that healthy love actually does exist, it simply starts with yourself first. And guess what? when it arrived, I actually recognized it right away. As someone who has spent years helping others build self-esteem through Pinkicing Self-Esteem Workshops, this anniversary feels like another reminder that confidence isn't just about standing taller or speaking louder. It's about knowing your self-worth so deeply that you no longer accept anything that asks you to shrink.
Whether you're healing from heartbreak, rebuilding after loss, learning to trust yourself again, or simply trying to become the person you've always dreamed of being, please know this: Your story is still unfolding. Your healing matters. Your mindset matters. And your worth has never depended on whether someone chooses you. It has always lived within you, and you can access that love at any time.
How?
By choosing to speak to yourself with compassion instead of criticism. By setting boundaries that protect your peace. By celebrating your progress instead of focusing only on how far you have left to go. By forgiving yourself for the mistakes that helped shape who you are today. By making time for the things that make your soul feel alive, whether that's journaling, walking in nature, meditating, creating something beautiful, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea and reminding yourself, "I am enough exactly as I am." Every small act of kindness you offer to yourself is a reminder that the love you've been searching for isn't only found in someone else. It begins with the relationship you build within yourself.
One year into marriage, I'm more in love than I was on our wedding day, not because life has been perfect, but because we've continued choosing each other through the ordinary moments that make up the extraordinary life we have together. For that, I am endlessly grateful. So here's to love, to growth, to healing, and most of all, here's to remembering that the greatest love story you'll ever experience begins the moment you believe you are worthy of it.
With love,
Jonelle Bell
Founder, Pinkicing Self-Esteem Workshops
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