Living with OCD: The Things You Don't See

" You're Allowed to Outgrow the Version of You That Everyone Else Got Comfortable With!" - Coach Jo

Seventeen years. It's a little wild to write that!  The 21 Days of Habitude Challenge has been part of my work for 17 years. It has been taught, shared, rewritten, added to, adjusted and lovingly carried along with me through many different seasons of my own life. Recently, I decided to do something I hadn't done in quite the same way for a long time, and participated in my own challenge. For the last 21 days, I showed up alongside everyone else. I reflected, paid attention, and challenged some of my thinking. I noticed my habits. I celebrated little wins. I looked at where I was growing and, perhaps most importantly, where I had already grown, and somewhere along the way, something a little unexpected happened: the challenge challenged me! I began noticing that some of the ideas I'd carried with this program for years didn't completely fit anymore. Not because they were necessarily bad ideas, but because, like you, I too have grown! Our understanding of habits, mindset, self-esteem and personal development has grown too, and isn't that exactly what Habitude is supposed to be about?

This past weekend, something crappy happened. There’s really no prettier way to say it. My brother was up visiting us, and his vehicle and my dad’s vehicle were both parked outside our home. At some point during the night, someone went through both of them. My brother lost about $7 in change, a console divider and a phone charger. My dad lost something considerably more sentimental: the suit he had custom-made for my wedding last year and a wicker basket that had belonged to my mum. Both men later admitted there was a pretty good chance they had left their vehicles unlocked. Whoops! That didn’t make what happened okay, after all, leaving a vehicle unlocked is not an invitation to take someone else’s belongings. Their things were still stolen, and their privacy had been invaded. They both had every right to feel frustrated, disappointed and violated by what happened, but what struck me was how they handled the whole ordeal. Neither one of them made it their life’s mission to point fingers. Neither one spent the next several days consumed by anger. They both acknowledged what had happened, acknowledged the little piece they could control, and decided they would both be more careful about locking their vehicles from now on. That was it! No shame spiral, no “Why does everything bad happen to me?”, and no deciding that the entire world is a terrible place because one person made a terrible choice. Simply: Whelp, that sucked! Lesson learned. Now let's move on. 

There are seasons in life when you don’t need another goal, or  challenge, or someone telling you to wake up earlier, work harder, think more positively, get organized, drink more water, manifest harder, or become the “best version of yourself.” Sometimes? You just need somewhere soft to land. That is exactly why I created Rooted & Radiant: A Gentle Self-Esteem & Mindset Reset to Help You Feel Steady Again

came across a picture the other day of a woman sitting in a bathtub, completely surrounded by bubbles, with the words SELF CARE written across the image, and I smiled because, honestly, who doesn't love the idea of a nice warm bath? A little music, maybe a candle flickering, something yummy to drink, most importantly, the bathroom door closed. If you're a mother, perhaps the most luxurious part of the entire experience is knowing that nobody is currently yelling, “Mom!” from the other side of it. The picture got me thinking about something: "What if self-care isn't really about the bath?" What if the bath is just the container? What if the real magic is in the bath bomb? Stay with me here. 😂

I've been sitting with something I've heard recently, and honestly, I've found myself conflicted. I'm not angry, and I certainly don't want to attack or demean anyone. I'm simply uncomfortable, and I think it's important that women are allowed to say that. Discomfort is real, and I believe we should be able to acknowledge it, sit with it, ask questions, and have honest conversations about why something makes us uncomfortable without immediately being labelled hateful, ignorant, or intolerant for doing so. There has been a recent conversation surrounding Drew Afualo's podcast about trans women and the experience of womanhood. Part of that conversation explored the idea that some trans women may experience femininity and womanhood in an especially intentional, joyful, and beautiful way because of the unique journey they have taken to embrace it. I can understand and appreciate the desire to celebrate that experience. I really can. Where I find myself uncomfortable, though, is when we begin comparing women's experiences of womanhood or suggesting that one experience is somehow more beautiful, meaningful, or authentic than another. Womanhood isn't one single experience, and it certainly isn't a competition. The beauty of it is that our experiences can be completely different and still be worthy of being heard, respected, and celebrated.

For a long time, I thought being tired was just the price of being successful. I thought exhaustion meant I was working hard enough. I thought feeling overwhelmed meant I was carrying important things. I thought pushing through, showing up, and figuring it out was just what responsible adults did, and maybe you have thought the same. Maybe you were the person everyone counted on. The one who always found a way. The one who could juggle work, family, responsibilities, expectations, and everyone else’s needs while somehow making it look effortless. Until one day, you just couldn’t. It wasn't because you stopped caring or became lazy or because you suddenly lost your ambition, but because your body finally said "I can't do this anymore!"

As our first wedding anniversary approaches, I find myself feeling all the emotions. Gratitude. Joy. Reflection. Wonder. It's truly incredible just how much life can change in just one year. This past year has been filled with so many beautiful milestones. We said "I do," blended our family, made big financial decisions together, purchased a new vehicle, found a home we absolutely love, learned how to navigate life as husband and wife, as well as mom and stepdad, and continue discovering who we are, both individually and as a team.

Lately, I've been sitting with a lot of mixed emotions.

A Coach Jo Heart-to-Heart on Self-Esteem, Mindset & Starting Again

There was a time in my life when photography felt like breathing. Not because I was making a fortune or curating a perfect social media feed, but because for the first time in a very long time, I felt truly present.