Unapologetically Becoming

" You're Allowed to Outgrow the Version of You That Everyone Else Got Comfortable With!" - Coach Jo

There comes a point in life when you realize that the person you've been for the last five, ten, or even twenty years might not be the person you want to keep being, and you know what? That is perfectly okay! Maybe you've spent years being the dependable one. The fixer. The peacekeeper. The person who says, "Oh, it's no problem!" when, in fact, it very much is a problem, and you've already got seventeen other problems waiting patiently in line. Maybe you've become so good at making everyone else comfortable that you've forgotten what being comfortable in your own life even feels like. All it takes is one ordinary Tuesday, somewhere between your morning coffee and wondering why there's always laundry, when something shifts. You start asking yourself, "What do I actually want?" Not what everyone expects. Not what you've always done. Not what would make life easier for everyone around you, but "What do YOU want? Honestly, a simple little question like that can ch that little question like that can change everything!

Growth Can Make People Uncomfortable

Here's something we don't talk about enough. When you start changing, not everyone is going to celebrate. Not necessarily because they don't love you, but because they've become familiar with a particular version of you. The version of you who always says yes, the one who never complains, the one who puts everyone else's needs first, the one who keeps the peace, even when it costs them their own. So when you start setting boundaries, speaking up, or choosing something different, people might wonder what's gotten into you, and the answer? More often than not, it's simply self-respect. Imagine that! You're finally learning to put yourself on the list of people who matter. You're not becoming difficult. You're learning that your needs deserve a place at the table, too. Of course, growth doesn't give us a free pass to be unkind or dismissive of other people's feelings. But it does mean we can be thoughtful, compassionate human beings without abandoning ourselves in the process.

You're Allowed to Change Your Mind

Can we please normalize changing our minds? Seriously!  You're allowed to discover that something you wanted five years ago doesn't fit your life today; you're allowed to pursue a new dream; you're allowed to walk away from something that once made you happy; you're allowed to try something, realize it isn't for you, and try something else, and you're absolutely allowed to start over at 40, 50, 60, or whenever that little spark inside you decides it's ready. There is no magical age when you're supposed to have everything figured out. I'm fairly certain most of us are just walking around pretending we know what we're doing while Googling things like "how long does broccoli last in the fridge?"  Life isn't a straight line. It's a beautiful collection of experiences, lessons, unexpected turns, surprises, and the occasional "Well, that didn't go as planned." At the end of the day, every single one of those moments can teach us something about who we are becoming.

You Can Be Grateful and Still Want More

This one is important. You can love your family and still need time for yourself. You can appreciate your job and still dream about doing something different. You can be grateful for everything you've built and still feel that something is missing. You can be proud of how far you've come and still want to grow. Gratitude and growth can exist in the same space. Wanting something different for yourself doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It means you're human, and thankfully humans are allowed to evolve. We aren't meant to stay exactly the same forever. Imagine wearing the same hairstyle, listening to the same three songs over and over again, and making every decision based on what our 19-year-old selves thought was a good idea. Good grief! Some of us would still have questionable eyebrows and terrible taste in boyfriends. Thankfully, we learn, we change, we grow, and sometimes we look back at an older version of ourselves with a little compassion and say, "You did the best you could with what you knew at the time." That's growth, too.

You Don't Have to Reinvent Yourself Overnight

Here's where I want you to give yourself a little grace. Personal growth doesn't have to involve a dramatic announcement, a complete lifestyle overhaul, or a colour-coded planner with twelve matching highlighters (thought that would be pretty cool)! Sometimes growth simply looks like:

• Saying no without feeling the need to explain yourself for twenty minutes.

• Resting without convincing yourself you haven't earned it.

• Trying something new, even if you're not particularly good at it.

• Letting go of an expectation that no longer fits.

• Speaking to yourself with a little more kindness.

• Making one small decision that feels right for you.

Guess what? Growth can even look like recognizing that you're tired, so you put on your comfiest pants, and deciding that tomorrow is another day. That counts, too!  At Pinkicing Self-Esteem Workshops, I've always believed that self-worth isn't something we earn by becoming a better, prettier, thinner, wealthier, or more successful version of ourselves. You are already worthy of feeling good about who you are, exactly as you are, while still giving yourself permission to grow.

A Little Autumn Reminder 🍂

There's something beautiful about this time of year. The trees don't apologize for changing. They don't hold onto every leaf because someone might prefer how they looked in July. They simply move into their next season, and there's a little lesson in that for all of us. We can appreciate who we've been without feeling obligated to stay there. We can honour the experiences that shaped us without allowing them to define every chapter that follows. We can let go of things that no longer fit without deciding that the time we spent with them was wasted. Not every ending is a failure. Sometimes it's simply a season coming to a close. 

A Little Something to Think About

Before you carry on with your day, I'd love for you to consider three little questions.

1. What part of your life are you holding onto simply because it's familiar?

2. Is there something you've been wanting to try, change, or explore but keep talking yourself out of?

3. What would choosing yourself, even in one small way, look like this week?

You don't need to have all the answers. You don't even need to do anything about them today. Just get curious! Sometimes the most meaningful changes begin with a quiet little thought that says, "Maybe there's something more for me."Honestly, that thought is worth listening to!

One Last Thing, My Friend...

If nobody has told you lately, let me remind you. You're allowed to grow! You're allowed to change! You're allowed to become someone who has different priorities, different dreams, and different boundaries than the person you were five years ago. In fact, you're allowed to do all of that while still loving and appreciating the person you've been, because the goal has never been to become perfect. It was always to become a little more comfortable, confident, and compassionate with the beautifully imperfect person you already are. So here's to the next version of you. Not because the old version wasn't good enough, but because you deserve the freedom to keep becoming, and that, my friend, is something worth celebrating!

Cheers, 
Coach Jo ❤️