Seventeen years. It's a little wild to write that! The 21 Days of Habitude Challenge has been part of my work for 17 years. It has been taught, shared, rewritten, added to, adjusted and lovingly carried along with me through many different seasons of my own life. Recently, I decided to do something I hadn't done in quite the same way for a long time, and participated in my own challenge. For the last 21 days, I showed up alongside everyone else. I reflected, paid attention, and challenged some of my thinking. I noticed my habits. I celebrated little wins. I looked at where I was growing and, perhaps most importantly, where I had already grown, and somewhere along the way, something a little unexpected happened: the challenge challenged me! I began noticing that some of the ideas I'd carried with this program for years didn't completely fit anymore. Not because they were necessarily bad ideas, but because, like you, I too have grown! Our understanding of habits, mindset, self-esteem and personal development has grown too, and isn't that exactly what Habitude is supposed to be about?
I could have ignored that realization and kept teaching the program exactly as I always have simply because that's the way I've always done it, but that wouldn't be growth now, would it? After spending 21 days asking other people to examine their habits, challenge their old beliefs, embrace their discomfort and remain open to change, it would be pretty funny if I responded to my own realization with: “Absolutely not. We don't do change around here.” So, after 17 years, our 21 Days of Habitude Challenge is growing too!
Maybe Growth Means Outgrowing Things
There was a time when one of the ideas behind this program was that 21 days could create a habit. That was an idea many of us heard and repeated for years. Fortunately, our understanding of habit formation has evolved. There isn't a magical Day 21 when a behaviour suddenly becomes automatic, and honestly? I love that for us! The more I reflected on it, the more I realized that 21 days doesn't need to be a deadline to be meaningful. Twenty-one days can simply be a beginning. A period of curiosity, an opportunity to experiment. A chance to notice what you do, why you do it, what helps, what gets in your way and what you might like to carry forward. That feels much more like the Habitude I want to teach today.
You Don't Need a New You
The self-help world loves a transformation: New year. New habits. New mindset. New YOU! But after all these years of working as a Life-Coach in the self-esteem and mindset-building world, and after going through this challenge again myself, I'm much more interested in something else: Becoming more you! I don't want this challenge to convince you that the person reading these words needs fixing. I want it to help you understand that person, and what matters to them, what makes them feel good and what drains them. What are you doing simply because you've always done it? What belief have you been carrying that you're finally ready to question? What tiny thing could make your actual, wonderfully imperfect life a little better? And more than anything, what have you possibly outgrown? For me, I've learned firsthand that sometimes personal growth isn't about adding another healthy habit. Sometimes it's having the courage to release an old one.
Welcome to the New Habitude
So no, this isn't quite the same 21 Days of Habitude Challenge I created 17 years ago. Which is a good thing, because I'm not the same person I was 17 years ago either, and I'm proud of that! The heart of Habitude hasn't changed. I still believe deeply in self-esteem, self-discovery, positive habits, mindset, reflection and intentional action. However, some of my thinking around it has changed. I'm leaving a little more perfection at the door and making a lot more room for curiosity. I'm paying closer attention to how habits actually fit into real life. I'm learning to experiment instead of demand, notice instead of judge, and practice instead of perfect. Most importantly, I'm recognizing that missing a day, changing direction or realizing something isn't working isn't evidence that we've failed. It's information. Give yourself five minutes when five minutes is what you have. Try something. Notice how it feels. Pay attention to what you learn along the way. If something works for you, keep it, if it doesn't, change it or let it go. You're allowed to adjust as you grow, and please, leave a little room to surprise yourself.
After 17 years with this program, and after spending the last 21 days walking through it again myself, I've realized something I wish I'd understood all those years ago: The Habitude challenge was never really about reaching Day 21. It's about what you discover about yourself along the way and how those discoveries influence the choices you make on Day 22, Day 23 and all the wonderfully ordinary days that follow. Perhaps that's the biggest lesson I'm taking away from these 21 days. Just because something has always been one way doesn't mean it has to stay that way. I've taught this program, added to it, changed little pieces of it and believed in its message for a very long time. Walking through it again reminded me that sometimes growth means being willing to look at something familiar and say: “This worked for me then, but I know more now.” We're allowed to outgrow old ideas. We're allowed to change our minds. We're allowed to take what still serves us, leave behind what doesn't, and make room for something that better fits who we are today. That doesn't make the old version wrong. It doesn't erase the growth that came from it. It simply means we've learned something since then, and isn't that kind of the whole point?
Maybe there's something in your own life that's been done the same way for so long that you've never thought to question it. A habit, a belief, a routine, a goal that doesn't feel like yours anymore. Maybe even an idea about yourself that you've repeated for so many years you've forgotten to stop and ask whether you still believe it. The good news is that you don't have to change everything today; you don't even have to know what comes next. Maybe you simply get curious enough to ask: Does this still work for me? If the answer is no, that doesn't necessarily mean you've failed. Maybe it simply means you've grown. After 17 years, The 21 Day's of Habitude Challenge is growing too. I've grown, and I think there's something pretty beautiful about knowing that we're never required to stay exactly where, or who, we've always been. We get to learn, to change, to try again, and to choose differently. Sometimes, five intentional minutes is enough to begin.
So as we officially close out these 21 days, I'm not really interested in asking whether you completed every activity, checked every box or created the perfect new routine. I'm much more interested in knowing what you learned about yourself. That is the part you get to keep; that is the part that truly matters. Day 21 isn't the finish line; it's simply the day we become curious about what we'll choose on Day 22. Oh, and if you didn't join us for these past 21 days? Don't worry. Your Day 1 can begin whenever you're ready.
Cheers,
Coach Jo 💗
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