There’s a certain kind of strength that doesn’t make the news. It doesn’t get the sympathy cards or the “you’re so brave” speeches.
It’s the quiet kind, the “figure-it-out-because-I-have-to” kind.
When my children’s father and I separated, I had exactly $178.00 to my name, and it wasn’t even mine, It was on my credit card. Three days after sleeping on my parents’ couch, I decided that sharing a bed with my kids in a spare room wasn’t our forever. Within a month, we had our own place. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was perfectly ours. I didn’t fall apart in public. I didn’t make a Facebook post about being at rock bottom. I just got to work. And you know what? No one really clapped.
The Unseen Strength
In my work as both a life coach and someone in support services, I meet people every day who need help with things people might consider “basic” be it, paying a bill, making a phone call, filling out a form. I will always help, with a full heart, because needing help doesn’t make anyone less worthy. But I can’t help but notice something, If you show up looking like you’re “handling it,” people often assume you’re fine. If you don’t break down, they don’t break in with offers of help. If you keep moving, they let you keep carrying it all. It’s as if you have to completely crumble before society hands you a medal for rebuilding yourself. And if you don’t crumble? You’re just, well expected to keep on going.
Why We Don’t Get the “Atta Girl”
It’s not that people don’t care, it’s that they can’t see the fight when you hide it so well. They see the smile, not the late-night panic. They see the bills paid, not the hustling behind the scenes. They see the kids cared for, not the moments you’ve cried in the shower so they wouldn’t hear. For many of us, asking for help feels harder than just doing the hard thing alone.
This is for You
So if you are reading this and you’ve ever:
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Held it together when you wanted to fall apart
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Quietly navigated a storm without making it someone else’s problem
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Built a life from the scraps you were handed
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Helped others while your own world felt unsteady...
then hear me when I say this: I see you.
Your strength is no less real just because you carried it gracefully and your resilience is no less impressive because you didn’t make a scene. You truly are doing more than most will ever know. so here is my "ATTA GIRL!" to you!
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to be worthy of support. You can be both capable and deserving of care. Let people in. Let yourself rest. Let your own story be proof that strength comes in many forms. Sometimes strength is loud and public, and sometimes it’s simply quiet and deeply personal. However, both deserve to be honored! So here’s to you, the steady ones. The world might not always notice, but you are the backbone of your own story and that is no small thing.
Atta Girl ;)
Cheers,
Coach Jo <3
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