This past weekend, something crappy happened. There’s really no prettier way to say it. My brother was up visiting us, and his vehicle and my dad’s vehicle were both parked outside our home. At some point during the night, someone went through both of them. My brother lost about $7 in change, a console divider and a phone charger. My dad lost something considerably more sentimental: the suit he had custom-made for my wedding last year and a wicker basket that had belonged to my mum. Both men later admitted there was a pretty good chance they had left their vehicles unlocked. Whoops! That didn’t make what happened okay, after all, leaving a vehicle unlocked is not an invitation to take someone else’s belongings. Their things were still stolen, and their privacy had been invaded. They both had every right to feel frustrated, disappointed and violated by what happened, but what struck me was how they handled the whole ordeal. Neither one of them made it their life’s mission to point fingers. Neither one spent the next several days consumed by anger. They both acknowledged what had happened, acknowledged the little piece they could control, and decided they would both be more careful about locking their vehicles from now on. That was it! No shame spiral, no “Why does everything bad happen to me?”, and no deciding that the entire world is a terrible place because one person made a terrible choice. Simply: Whelp, that sucked! Lesson learned. Now let's move on.
Myself, as a true believer in glimmers, I wasn’t all that surprised when something kind of magical happened! A few days later, my dad took his dog for his usual walk along a path near our house. As he was walking, he noticed something up ahead. A wicker basket! So, naturally, he walked a little closer, and lo and behold... it was Mum’s wicker basket! And inside? His suit! His suit was folded up neatly, and underneath it were all of my brother’s belongings. Almost everything that had been taken was sitting there on that walking path, just waiting to be found. My dad was absolutely overjoyed and messaged me right away, and I honestly couldn’t help but think: What were the chances? Of all the paths he could have walked. Of all the places those belongings could have ended up. Of all the people who could have stumbled across that basket first...There it was. It got me thinking: maybe that’s the thing about glimmers, they’re everywhere, but we have to be willing to notice them! Sometimes life gives us these tiny, almost magical moments when we least expect them. Little reminders that things can work out differently than we imagined, that what feels impossible today might not be quite so impossible tomorrow. I honestly can’t help but think there’s a pretty beautiful mindset lesson tucked somewhere inside Mum’s wicker basket.
You Can Take Accountability Without Taking the Blame
There is a huge difference between saying: “This happened because I’m stupid.” and saying: “This happened. I didn’t cause someone else to make a bad decision, but there may be something I can do differently next time.” That difference matters! My dad and brother did not deserve to have. There is a huge difference between saying: “This happened because I’m stupid.” and saying: “This happened. I didn’t cause someone else to make a bad decision, but there may be something I can do differently next time.” That difference matters! My dad and brother did not deserve to have their belongings taken because their doors may have been unlocked, but they could decide to lock them from now on. That's personal responsibility without self-punishment, and I think we could all use a little more of that. Sometimes things happen that are completely outside our control, and sometimes things happen where, if we're being fair with ourselves, we did have a tiny bit of control over the situation. We are prone to forgetting something, ignoring a nagging gut feeling, and leaving a metaphorical car door unlocked from time to time. These things don't make us foolish. They don't make us bad people, and they certainly don't mean we deserved whatever happened. What they do make us is human. Humans forget. Humans trust. Humans make mistakes. Humans occasionally leave the damn car door unlocked. What we don't need to do is punish ourselves for being human. We can acknowledge what happened, figure out what we might do differently next time, and keep moving forward. Take the lesson. Leave the shame.
A Bad Thing Happening Doesn't Require a Bad Day
This might be my favourite part. We have a funny habit of letting one ridiculous thing become the narrator for everything else. The coffee spills, the car won’t start, someone says something rude, something gets stolen from us, plans fall apart, and suddenly, we default to: “THIS DAY IS TERRIBLE!” But... is it? Or did one terrible, annoying, frustrating or downright ridiculous thing happen during your day? We don't always get to choose what enters our story, but we often get some say in how much space we're willing to give it. You can be angry and disappointed, and say “Well, this is bullshit,” but guess what? Life will go on, and so will you. So keep living your life! Make another coffee, LOCK your car, take your pup for a walk, keep going! Honestly, maybe a few days later, you might just stumble across your own metaphorical wicker basket sitting on the side of a walking trail, and wouldn’t you hate to miss it because you were still letting Sunday’s bad moment narrate Wednesday’s story?
Always Leave a Little Room for Magic!
I don't mean pretending everything happens for a reason. Sometimes awful things happen for absolutely ridiculous reasons, but I do believe in leaving a little room for possibility! For those little glimmers and strange coincidences. For things working out in ways you couldn't possibly have planned. Maybe that's part of self-esteem too. Trusting ourselves enough to know that whatever happens next, you can and will handle it! Trust and believe that you can learn, adjust, and be disappointed without becoming hopeless. Acknowledge your mistakes without making them your identity, and still believe that something beautiful might be waiting around the corner, or, apparently, down a walking path? Honestly, each person's journey is different! lol.
My dad and my brother are good men. Both are hard workers who don't ask for much. They didn't deserve what happened to them, but I loved watching them refuse to let what happened to them become something bigger than it needed to be. They took responsibility for what they could control, and they simply let go of what they couldn't. In doing so, life, as it more often than not does, decided to hand almost everything back to them in my Mum’s little wicker basket. Well... except for the $7. Apparently, even miracles have service fees! So lock your doors, choose to learn your lessons, give yourself grace when you screw up, and don’t let one crappy moment convince you that you have a crappy life. Oh, and please, please, PLEASE leave a little room for magic! This story is proof that sometimes the impossible isn't actually all that impossible. Sometimes the things we thought were gone find their way back to us, sometimes the story takes a turn we never saw coming, and sometimes, all we have to do is take the long way home. Possibilities truly are everywhere. They’re in the little glimmers life throws our way every day. In the small coincidences, the second chances, and, in our case, in my Mum’s wicker basket sitting beside a walking path! So keep your eyes open for them. Notice the glimmers. Leave room for the unexpected. Never become so convinced that something is so impossible that you stop believing it could still find its way back to you, because life has a funny way of reminding us that there is still a little magic left in this world, and that endless possibilities truly are everywhere.
Cheers,
Coach Jo <3
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